Retirement jokes

Old is when....
-- you get compliements on your alligator shoes and you are barefoot
-- going without a bra pulls the wrinkles out of your face
-- you are happy to have a flabby tummy, cause it covers the flabby thighs

"President Bush made his case with Social Security reform. He said if you have a Social Security check you might want to cash it first thing in the morning." --Jay Leno

"According to the Congressional Budget Office, Social Security will be completely depleted by 2052, completely broke. Again I don't think President Bush understands these issues. He says '2052 -- well, that's all right, by then all our old people will be dead.'" --Jay Leno

What did the newly retired man say to his wife?

“If this is what they call a fixed income, I’d hate to see one that’s still broken. “

Baby Boomers
Boomers have experienced some great contemporary music.... Do you think these artists will revise their hits as they age?

The Bee Gees - How Do You Mend a Broken Hip
Bobby Darin - Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash
The Beatles - I Get By With a Little Help from Depends
Paul Simon - Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
Leo Sayer - You Make Me Feel Like Napping
Abba - Denture Queen
Leslie Gore - It's My Procedure and I'll Cry if I Want To