Famous Retirement Quotes, Funny Retirement Quotes, Inspirational Retirement Quotes

You’ll Laugh (or Cry) When You Read These Famous Quotations About Retirement

As you plan retirement, figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech, you will enjoy reading quotations and funny sayings about this phase of life. Over 60 retirement quotes are found below.

However, if you are looking for quotes or estimates related to retirement finances, the NewRetirement Retirement Calculator offers many types of financial quotes all accessible in one easy to use planning tool.

Browse all famous retirement quotes below, or select a specific topic from this list:

Retirement Quotes: Thoughts on Leisure

Happy Retirement

Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing.Oliver Wendell Holmes

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.Abe Lemons

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.Doug Larson

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.Author Unknown


Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.J. Lubbock

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.Jim Bishop

Retirement income

Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.Harry Vardon

There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything.William Shakespeare

Choose a work that you love and you won’t have to work another day.Confucius

Retirement Quotes: Money Issues

retirement budget

When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.Chi Chi Rodriguez

Fear no more the heat o the sun, nor the furious winter’s rages. Thou thy worldly task hast done, home art gone and taken thy wages.William Shakespeare

Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.Jonathan Clements

Winning the lottery and retirement

Money is something you got to make in case you don’t die.Max Asnas

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.Scott Elledge

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.Woody Allen

I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left.Voltaire

Retirement investment

The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income.George Foreman

People may live as much retired from the world as they like, but sooner or later they find themselves debtor or creditor to some one.Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Cessation of work is not accompanied by cessation of expenses.Cato

Planning for retirement

It is better to live rich than to die rich.Samuel Johnson

Not having to worry about money is almost like not having to worry about dying.Mario Puzo

You can be young without money but you can’t be old without it.Tennessee Williams

Retirement Quotes: The Irony of Retirement

Best places to retire

You have to put off being young until you can retire.Author Unknown

When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.R.C. Sherriff

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.Will Rogers


Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.Kitty O’Neill Collins

Something pretty… that’s just the surface. People worry so much about aging, but you look younger if you don’t worry about it.Jeanne Moreau

It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.Andy Rooney

Retirement Quotes: Thoughts on the Merits of Work

Retired is being twice tired, I’ve thought first tired of working, then tired of not.Richard Armour

Will You Ever Be Able to Retire?

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.Author Unknown

To retire is to die.Pablo Casals

Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap.Simone De Beauvoir

A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job.Ella Harris

The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work.Gilbert K. Chesterton

Retirees Giving Back

Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their companies should foot the bill. We can no longer afford to scrap-pile people.Maggie Kuhn

Sooner or later I’m going to die, but I’m not going to retire.Margaret Mead

A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age.Author Unknown

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Don’t think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Let him come out as I do, and bark.Samuel Johnson

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.George Burns

In this country men seem to live for action as long as they can and sink into apathy when they retire.Charles Francis Adams


The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.Vince Lombardi

Retirement is the ugliest word in the language.Ernest Hemingway

Choose a work that you love and you won’t have to work another day.Confucius

Retirement Quotes on Aging

retirement jobs

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.Mark Twain

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.John Barrymore

You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.George Burns

People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.George Burns

I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.Bob Hope

I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.Rita Rudner

I do wish I could tell you my age but it’s impossible. It keeps changing all the time.Greer Garson

Reverse Mortgages and Heirs

There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.Sophia Loren

I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.George Burns

Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.Robert Benchley

The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.Robert Frost

Retirement financial planning

You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.George Bernard Shaw

The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it.Doris Day

One loses, as one grows older, something of the lightness of one’s dreams; one begins to take life up in both hands, and to care more for the fruit than the flower, and that is no great loss perhaps.W.B. Yeats

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you was?Satchel Paige

Planning for retirement

Those who think they have no time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.Edward Stanley

At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.Ann Landers

Retirement Sayings: Retirement Plan

Longevity Annuities

Preparation for old age should begin not later than one’s teens. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled on retirement.Arthur E. Morgan

Before you speak, listen. Before you write, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you invest, investigate. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try. Before you retire, save. Before you die, give.William A. Ward

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.Source Unknown

God’s retirement plan is out of this world.Source Unknown

Add Your Own Quote About Retirement!

Please share your own wisdom about retirement in the comments section below!

Quote a friend, your idol or yourself! Or, check out our other pages of retirement quotes: “More Funny and Inspirational Quotes About Retirement and Aging,” or “Retirement Sayings About the Pros and Cons of Retirement.”

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1 Response to “Famous Retirement Quotes, Funny Retirement Quotes, Inspirational Retirement Quotes”

  1. 1 Jonathan Byrne

    A man’s not complete until he has retired. Then he’s completely finished.

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