Retirement jokes

"President Bush made his case with Social Security reform. He said if you have a Social Security check you might want to cash it first thing in the morning." --Jay Leno

"According to the Congressional Budget Office, Social Security will be completely depleted by 2052, completely broke. Again I don't think President Bush understands these issues. He says '2052 -- well, that's all right, by then all our old people will be dead.'" --Jay Leno

What did the newly retired man say to his wife?

“If this is what they call a fixed income, I’d hate to see one that’s still broken. “

Old is when....
-- you get compliements on your alligator shoes and you are barefoot
-- going without a bra pulls the wrinkles out of your face
-- you are happy to have a flabby tummy, cause it covers the flabby thighs

Baby Boomers
Boomers have experienced some great contemporary music.... Do you think these artists will revise their hits as they age?

The Bee Gees - How Do You Mend a Broken Hip
Bobby Darin - Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash
The Beatles - I Get By With a Little Help from Depends
Paul Simon - Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
Leo Sayer - You Make Me Feel Like Napping
Abba - Denture Queen
Leslie Gore - It's My Procedure and I'll Cry if I Want To