• Question
  • Retirement jokes

    Asked by a 71 year old man from Rochester, NY on 1/17/2008

    What are some good retirement jokes?

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  • Categories: Your Life in Retirement, Leisure

Answers

  • NewRetirement User

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  • "President Bush made his case with Social Security reform. He said if you have a Social Security check you might want to cash it first thing in the morning." --Jay Leno

    "According to the Congressional Budget Office, Social Security will be completely depleted by 2052, completely broke. Again I don't think President Bush understands these issues. He says '2052 -- well, that's all right, by then all our old people will be dead.'" --Jay Leno

  • Login to rate this answer:   Answered on 1/17/2008
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  • What did the newly retired man say to his wife?

    “If this is what they call a fixed income, I’d hate to see one that’s still broken. “

  • Login to rate this answer:   Answered on 1/17/2008
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  • Old is when....
    -- you get compliements on your alligator shoes and you are barefoot
    -- going without a bra pulls the wrinkles out of your face
    -- you are happy to have a flabby tummy, cause it covers the flabby thighs

  • Login to rate this answer:   Answered on 1/17/2008
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  • Baby Boomers
    Boomers have experienced some great contemporary music.... Do you think these artists will revise their hits as they age?

    The Bee Gees - How Do You Mend a Broken Hip
    Bobby Darin - Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash
    The Beatles - I Get By With a Little Help from Depends
    Paul Simon - Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
    Leo Sayer - You Make Me Feel Like Napping
    Abba - Denture Queen
    Leslie Gore - It's My Procedure and I'll Cry if I Want To

  • Login to rate this answer:   Answered on 1/23/2008
**All above answers are provided as general information only. No warranty is made regarding the fitness or accuracy of the information provided in this answer. You should seek advice from a licensed CPA, attorney or CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ as to your unique financial situation.